How To Be A Supercommunicator
How To Be A Supercommunicator
8 Tips on How To Align Better in Meetings, Conversations & Connections
👋 Hi, I'm Bea. I've been in communication for over 11 years, focusing on food, relationships, and mental health. I share what I've learned about communicating better in work and life every week.
Today, I want to talk about becoming a supercommunicator. Imagine the person you always go to for advice, a leader who can inspire many or someone with a vast network. That's a supercommunicator.
This past weekend, I was part of a strategic planning session led by Professor Xavier Alpasa, also known as Professor X. He reminded me of the X-Men leader, guiding us, his team of 'mutants,' to align our thoughts and plans.
Inspired by Charles Duhigg's insights on supercommunicators, I've been digging into what makes some people exceptionally good at getting their point across. Duhigg, through Beau Sievers' research, shows how crucial conversations are for consensus and understanding.
In his book, the author mentions Sievers' extensive research, which involved studying dozens of people to understand how groups achieve better alignment.
Sievers' method included showing participants challenging movie clips in a foreign language or silent films to spark group discussions.
Through careful observation of these discussions, Sievers discovered a consistent pattern: groups that reached a consensus always had a high centrality participant. Duhigg calls this person the "supercommunicator," essential for driving discussions that achieve alignment.
So, what does it take to be a supercommunicator? Here are eight tips from Duhigg's "Supercommunicators":
Speak Less, Listen More: Great communicators let others do the talking. They don't hog the spotlight.
Ask Questions: If they speak, they ask many more questions than most, which helps them understand different views about 10 to 20 times more.
Affirm and Encourage: Echoing what others say makes them feel heard and encourages more sharing.
Admit Confusion: It's okay to show you're not following. It invites everyone to dig deeper.
Self-Deprecation: A little self-joke can lighten the mood and bring people together.
Encourage Participation: Make sure everyone can contribute to a richer discussion.
Use Humor to Break Deadlocks: A timely joke can ease tensions and get the conversation moving again.
Adapt to Communication Styles: Adjust your approach to fit the group's vibe for better engagement. If it’s serious, follow suit. If it’s light, have a sense of humor. This is the most important out of all, by the way!
Putting these into practice during our strategic planning session made a huge difference. Our group worked smoothly, and our presentation got great feedback with minimal effort.
Professor X praised our presentation, and a teammate remarked on how effortlessly we achieved our goal, emphasizing the effectiveness of smart work over hard work.
Sometimes, one’s ego gets in the way, and you want that gold star. Or you want your ideas at the forefront. But, the best communicators can step back and orchestrate the conversation.
They don’t always have to be the first to speak. And they never push the idea that “I’m right. You’re wrong.” Or, they don’t act like, “I’m the smartest person in the room. I know everything.”
The reality is there’s always that one person in a meeting or party who dominates the conversation. Don’t be that. Try becoming a supercommunicator. The real power lies in creating a shared understanding.
My weekend experience is a testament to the positive change that comes from embracing a more thoughtful and inclusive way of communicating.
By using these strategies, you too can easily handle complex discussions and build consensus in any group.
Remember this:
"The Right Conversation, At The Right Moment, Can Change Everything."
- Charles Duhigg
Becoming a supercommunicator isn't just about making yourself heard; it's about fostering an environment where everyone feels valued and understood.
My Content Diet 🧠
I’m all about Charles Duhigg’s work this week. His ideas are that good!
Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection
Charles Duhigg’s Substack - He best describes it: A brief newsletter with advice, rooted in science, that helps us all get a little better at life.